This is no big deal but saw The Lymph Lady today who pointed out that I am now slightly puffy in what The Yoga Man says is the armpit chest - essentially the side of the chest between the armpit and the boob. Not anxious just thought it was worth noting. Told her my fingers have been stiff again, very stiff, and my arm a little sore and The Lymph Lady said it should improve now that I am back at regular exercise.
You see, I go to this private gym and it closed a lot over the festive season. The biokineticist said she'd heard (from the bio interns) that I had been there a lot over the holiday period. Lol! Not a lot but did go and also exercised at home as well, at least once.
Find it frustrating when they are closed and it's a public holiday and I have so much free time and my hamstrings are tight from lack of exercise but really it's a great gym and have no intention of changing it.
Booked my muga scan today. (Btw, posting this from my phone and don't know how to change paragraphs.) Anyway, had a muga scan before I started chemo a year ago - feels like an eternity ago - as a base test. Essentially all the treatment I have had and am having - the chemo, radiation and Herceptin - can affect the heart and cos of the cumulative effect of all this, they need to monitor your heart. The muga scan measures the rate at which your heart emits and it is done at a nuclear medicine department, I had mine done at Morningside Clinic in Sandton. Well, I am hardly an athlete but was pretty fit when I had it last year, pre-treatment and all that and gyming for an hour and 25 minutes 4X a week. My rate was in the 70s. Wonder what it will be like now. Hope my heart is ok but the head nurse at the oncology centre said if my heart was affected, would feel tired. The bio says I would not know. Oy... I do find the exercises I do at gym quite strenuous. Not the cardio - only allowed to do 15 minutes cos of the heart threat and not allowed to get out of breath - but the rest. Went today, and loved it. Did 40 minutes. Good night. Tired now but night get up early to go to gym again tomorrow.
I live in Johannesburg, South Africa, where I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday January 15 2009. This is my journey with cancer and other musings as surveyed - initially temporarily hairless - from under my hats.
Showing posts with label biokinetics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biokinetics. Show all posts
Monday, January 4, 2010
Thursday, August 27, 2009
forgotten the routine
If I had written this earlier tonight, it might have been quite a tale of misery but now - and it is already after midnight - feeling much better. Just more relaxed I guess. Going away for the weekend, to the mountain kingdom of Lesotho, and finally packed. Gosh, cancelled my show tonight so I could have time to chill and pack and only finally packed a few moments ago. Love travelling but not the world's best packer.
And it's only a weekend. But have progressed from taking lots of shoes for a two day trip.
Anyway, the problem is that still have pain in my arm and shoulder area that was radiated. It burns a lot. Did exercises this morning but a once off is not enough.
And now cancelled biokinetics tomorrow cos need to see The Lymph Lady. As far as I know, have a five minute appointment but it's a bit of an emergency cos discovered on Tuesday at my appointment that I was massaging the affected arm incorrectly during the lymph drainage massage. She showed me the correct way but i have forgotten. Read the manual I have but cannot make sense of it. Spoke to her for ages on the phone but could not work it out. So off to Morningside Clinic tomorrow, instead of bio, for her to show me again. In the interim, that is, during tonight's massage session and again tomorrow morning, she said I must leave out all the arm massages and focus only on my body massages.
If my arm has increased in size, which it looked like to me when trying on a sleeveless dress today, might have to get a compression sleeve. Yuch yuch yuch. Hoping the swelling will go down by Monday, that it was just caused by the herceptin but with another 15 sessions to go.....
And it's only a weekend. But have progressed from taking lots of shoes for a two day trip.
Anyway, the problem is that still have pain in my arm and shoulder area that was radiated. It burns a lot. Did exercises this morning but a once off is not enough.
And now cancelled biokinetics tomorrow cos need to see The Lymph Lady. As far as I know, have a five minute appointment but it's a bit of an emergency cos discovered on Tuesday at my appointment that I was massaging the affected arm incorrectly during the lymph drainage massage. She showed me the correct way but i have forgotten. Read the manual I have but cannot make sense of it. Spoke to her for ages on the phone but could not work it out. So off to Morningside Clinic tomorrow, instead of bio, for her to show me again. In the interim, that is, during tonight's massage session and again tomorrow morning, she said I must leave out all the arm massages and focus only on my body massages.
If my arm has increased in size, which it looked like to me when trying on a sleeveless dress today, might have to get a compression sleeve. Yuch yuch yuch. Hoping the swelling will go down by Monday, that it was just caused by the herceptin but with another 15 sessions to go.....
Monday, August 3, 2009
starting herceptin tomorrow
Had a horrible day. Spent most of the morning clutching my cellphone waiting for the oncology centre to phone, or the central medicine depot to phone re the money transfer. Had an appointment for it booked for 11.30am and as the authorisation had been confirmed on Friday, was hoping the actual treatment could begin as planned. Mmmmm, have had an appointment booked every Monday for the last month.
Finally, after biokinetics, I phoned the oncology centre and was furious to hear that the written authorisation had not come through from the medical aid. It was looking bleak. And if I didn't start tomorrow, then would not be able to go away for the weekend as Swaziland is surely not the hottest spot for medical treatment; plus would then need to start next week and so would not be able to go to Cape Town (am on two weeks'leave).
Then went to The Lymph Lady who told me that many people feel awful on herceptin: tired, sickly, quite wrecked - and for three to four days.
Meanwhile, I waited for a call to say how much money I needed to deposit. When I phoned the oncology centre to enquire what the hell was going on, spoke to head nurse Erica who told me would be fine by Friday to go away. She said I would/could be shivering and feel awful on the night of the treatment, then very tired the next day. Or else feel nothing.
Then nearly burst into tears when heard, despite a confirmed booking from an agency last night, that Royal Swazi Spa was full. Phoned them but they would not put me onto a waiting list as they already have one.
Then opted for Quiet Mountain Lodge even though could get only a Sunday night booking. Now have the dilemma of wondering if should have a party on Friday (it's my birthday) - but if so, with what money?
But eventually, eventually, the herceptin thing was arranged, despite the fact that the confirmatory email containg proof of payment took ages and ages to arrive at the central medicine depot - which allowed them then to deliver the medication. Appointment is at 9.30am tomorrow. Terrified.
Finally, after biokinetics, I phoned the oncology centre and was furious to hear that the written authorisation had not come through from the medical aid. It was looking bleak. And if I didn't start tomorrow, then would not be able to go away for the weekend as Swaziland is surely not the hottest spot for medical treatment; plus would then need to start next week and so would not be able to go to Cape Town (am on two weeks'leave).
Then went to The Lymph Lady who told me that many people feel awful on herceptin: tired, sickly, quite wrecked - and for three to four days.
Meanwhile, I waited for a call to say how much money I needed to deposit. When I phoned the oncology centre to enquire what the hell was going on, spoke to head nurse Erica who told me would be fine by Friday to go away. She said I would/could be shivering and feel awful on the night of the treatment, then very tired the next day. Or else feel nothing.
Then nearly burst into tears when heard, despite a confirmed booking from an agency last night, that Royal Swazi Spa was full. Phoned them but they would not put me onto a waiting list as they already have one.
Then opted for Quiet Mountain Lodge even though could get only a Sunday night booking. Now have the dilemma of wondering if should have a party on Friday (it's my birthday) - but if so, with what money?
But eventually, eventually, the herceptin thing was arranged, despite the fact that the confirmatory email containg proof of payment took ages and ages to arrive at the central medicine depot - which allowed them then to deliver the medication. Appointment is at 9.30am tomorrow. Terrified.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
it started....
Oh, it's not the herceptin which has started - still waiting for the medical aid to authorise the treatment and the almost month long wait and scheduling it for every Monday has just added to my tension. No, it's the weight gain.
Am taking hormone tablets called tamoxifen, also to keep the cancer at bay. Was told it would make me fatter. Not from eating more, ie, not because i became hungrier but that I would just get fatter.
Then felt it this week. Gained 0.8kg. Oy. Now trying to eat less but not really succeeding. And both not able to and not allowed to do more cardio than the low-level 10 minutes I do three times a week at biokinetics, so fat chance of loosing it via exercise.
Should know my midday tomorrow if the herceptin has been approved. Think I say that every Thursday night.
Oh well. Will keep going. The oncology centre told me today they have been trying to have it authorised since July 3. Today is July 30.
Am taking hormone tablets called tamoxifen, also to keep the cancer at bay. Was told it would make me fatter. Not from eating more, ie, not because i became hungrier but that I would just get fatter.
Then felt it this week. Gained 0.8kg. Oy. Now trying to eat less but not really succeeding. And both not able to and not allowed to do more cardio than the low-level 10 minutes I do three times a week at biokinetics, so fat chance of loosing it via exercise.
Should know my midday tomorrow if the herceptin has been approved. Think I say that every Thursday night.
Oh well. Will keep going. The oncology centre told me today they have been trying to have it authorised since July 3. Today is July 30.
Monday, July 13, 2009
no herceptin yet
Glanced at a post I wrote last Thursday......"Woke up today and just knew: I felt like myself again, like I felt before starting treatment on February 4, World Cancer Day"....sjoe, not even a week later and things have changed.
Don't feel like the old me any more, even if my taste in food is pretty much back to normal. (As I dribbled my homemade diet salad dressing over my homemade salad the other day, my colleague said: "Ah, Gillian is back!" Cos once again, I was eating what she recognised.)
Anyway, now not feeling at all like my old self, except for the fact that went to gym after work today, the first time since starting treatment. Ok, been going to bio but that is with a biokineticist, at a set time, mostly first thing in the morning. Tonight was like what I used to do. I just did less, and battled more with doing it, but enjoyed it immensely.
Been rather hassled lately although unsure how much of it is caused by the hormone tablet I am now taking daily, calling tamoxifen, trading under some other name. Think it is causing intermittent headaches - something i never usually have - plus intermittent depression. Well, think it made me feel miserable, out of the blue, last night.
But the biggest news of the day is re the herceptin. The medical aid have declined authorisation of it - BECAUSE I HAVE NOT HAD SURGERY. Ok, I must be one of the few women with breast cancer who have not had surgery but hell, did not have a tumour in my breast (only in axillary lymph nodes), no lump to be removed via a lumpectomy, and eventually (when the chemo led to a complete response, ie the cancer disappeared 100%) even the surgeon said "no surgery; have radiation".
The oncology centre said they, and i think she meant the centre but maybe it was the medical aid, had never encountered this before. "Well, I will have to sell my home (if I have to pay the just under half a million rand the herceptin will cost for 17 treatments). "Ridiculous!" said the woman from the centre.
Now The Tango Man is appealing the medical aid's decision, I have an appointment booked for Monday and I don't have to feel guilty that this morning I had decided I was too stressed to start my herceptin treatment this week and should postpone it to next week.
Don't feel like the old me any more, even if my taste in food is pretty much back to normal. (As I dribbled my homemade diet salad dressing over my homemade salad the other day, my colleague said: "Ah, Gillian is back!" Cos once again, I was eating what she recognised.)
Anyway, now not feeling at all like my old self, except for the fact that went to gym after work today, the first time since starting treatment. Ok, been going to bio but that is with a biokineticist, at a set time, mostly first thing in the morning. Tonight was like what I used to do. I just did less, and battled more with doing it, but enjoyed it immensely.
Been rather hassled lately although unsure how much of it is caused by the hormone tablet I am now taking daily, calling tamoxifen, trading under some other name. Think it is causing intermittent headaches - something i never usually have - plus intermittent depression. Well, think it made me feel miserable, out of the blue, last night.
But the biggest news of the day is re the herceptin. The medical aid have declined authorisation of it - BECAUSE I HAVE NOT HAD SURGERY. Ok, I must be one of the few women with breast cancer who have not had surgery but hell, did not have a tumour in my breast (only in axillary lymph nodes), no lump to be removed via a lumpectomy, and eventually (when the chemo led to a complete response, ie the cancer disappeared 100%) even the surgeon said "no surgery; have radiation".
The oncology centre said they, and i think she meant the centre but maybe it was the medical aid, had never encountered this before. "Well, I will have to sell my home (if I have to pay the just under half a million rand the herceptin will cost for 17 treatments). "Ridiculous!" said the woman from the centre.
Now The Tango Man is appealing the medical aid's decision, I have an appointment booked for Monday and I don't have to feel guilty that this morning I had decided I was too stressed to start my herceptin treatment this week and should postpone it to next week.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
feeling like myself again
Woke up today and just knew: I felt like myself again, like I felt before starting treatment on February 4, World Cancer Day.
It is difficult to know what it is that made me feel like myself again, but a kind of internal energy, an inner bounciness. And it makes sense. Was told the radiation would be active inside me for two weeks once I stopped treatment. Today was two and a half weeks since I finished radiation so it's likely that it's out or mostly out of my body. Hence this is the first time I feel like I used to feel.
Ok, not like I don't have side-effects. Come on, that would be too much to expect, wouldn't it?
Anyway, my arm is still swollen cos of the lymph nodes being radiated. Wacked. Doing my 25 minutes of lymph massage twice a day and seeing The Lymph Lady (well not again this week but three times next week and that is not my idea but hers; I'd see her twice a day if I could) and short of praying to make my lymph nodes kickstart back into action - and going to find out more about visualisation so I can try that too - dunno what else to do.
Then my mouth is dry but did not pursue trying to get hold of the medication cos things were overcome by the lymph drama.
Otherwise, okey dokey.
And now thinking about what a friend suggested last night: why don't I use this blog as a basis for a book and register for a masters in creative writing at Wits (University of the Witwatersrand)? Mmmmmm.. swore I wasn't going to write a book about this but know that this blog is a good diary from which to start.
Oh, had a brilliant moment in the lift today when someone I did a course with at work commented on my super short hair. Oh, u cut it, she said. Not really, it's a long story I said, then told her. She was flabbergasted as she said I looked so well, my cheeks were glowing - told her i was off to gym/biokinetics nogal (Afrikaans for 'as well/on top of it') - and she just could not believe i had finished radiation two weeks ago. She said I looked so well and it made me feel so good. You eat so healthily, she said (think we ate lunch during the course. Oh and must add: I am getting my taste back so on the way to healthy eating again. Drank wine again tonight.
Oh gosh. Nearly left out the most important thing. I feel free of treatment goetes (Afrikaans for stuff/things), but start herceptin on monday and due to start hormone pills on Friday (had to wait for medical aid to kick in). So just as my side effects are dwindling (except for the swollen arm), so I am due to start the next treatments with all their damn side-effects. Thinking of holding off the hormone pills till Monday. A weekend of ignorant mostly side-effect-free bliss.
It is difficult to know what it is that made me feel like myself again, but a kind of internal energy, an inner bounciness. And it makes sense. Was told the radiation would be active inside me for two weeks once I stopped treatment. Today was two and a half weeks since I finished radiation so it's likely that it's out or mostly out of my body. Hence this is the first time I feel like I used to feel.
Ok, not like I don't have side-effects. Come on, that would be too much to expect, wouldn't it?
Anyway, my arm is still swollen cos of the lymph nodes being radiated. Wacked. Doing my 25 minutes of lymph massage twice a day and seeing The Lymph Lady (well not again this week but three times next week and that is not my idea but hers; I'd see her twice a day if I could) and short of praying to make my lymph nodes kickstart back into action - and going to find out more about visualisation so I can try that too - dunno what else to do.
Then my mouth is dry but did not pursue trying to get hold of the medication cos things were overcome by the lymph drama.
Otherwise, okey dokey.
And now thinking about what a friend suggested last night: why don't I use this blog as a basis for a book and register for a masters in creative writing at Wits (University of the Witwatersrand)? Mmmmmm.. swore I wasn't going to write a book about this but know that this blog is a good diary from which to start.
Oh, had a brilliant moment in the lift today when someone I did a course with at work commented on my super short hair. Oh, u cut it, she said. Not really, it's a long story I said, then told her. She was flabbergasted as she said I looked so well, my cheeks were glowing - told her i was off to gym/biokinetics nogal (Afrikaans for 'as well/on top of it') - and she just could not believe i had finished radiation two weeks ago. She said I looked so well and it made me feel so good. You eat so healthily, she said (think we ate lunch during the course. Oh and must add: I am getting my taste back so on the way to healthy eating again. Drank wine again tonight.
Oh gosh. Nearly left out the most important thing. I feel free of treatment goetes (Afrikaans for stuff/things), but start herceptin on monday and due to start hormone pills on Friday (had to wait for medical aid to kick in). So just as my side effects are dwindling (except for the swollen arm), so I am due to start the next treatments with all their damn side-effects. Thinking of holding off the hormone pills till Monday. A weekend of ignorant mostly side-effect-free bliss.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
busy day tomorrow
mmm.. have biokinetics at 8.30am and then two doctors' appointments, one after the other: one with the radiation oncologist and then the medical oncologist, that one to find out the next course of treatment which I think is herceptin. Would like a week's break before i start but let's see. And then on Tuesday see the lymph lady again. My arm is still swollen and now often sore. My fingers seem better. Pretty hassled about it.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
desperately seeking tranquility
had planned this whole piece about how i want one, no, not one, about three tranquil days - maybe even a week - at the risk of getting bored, ending up saying how the truth is probably finding the tranquility within myself.
But now too damn tired to elucidate all that, and all cos i worked quite latish to make up for coming in late cos of radiation. Plus saw the doctor and no, nothing wrong with my chest - was breathing shallowly cos i am panicking is the only possibility. Did cough quite frantically just now again.
Good news is that can go back to gym. Let's rephrase that: must go back to gym but cannot get too sweaty or out of breath. So going to get biokineticist at the gym (my former brilliant biokineticist Dalena is off to live in Namibia). Booked an assessment for Tuesday. Said I want a brilliant highly-experienced bio. Scared if do it on my own will under-perform rather than over-perform, cos have this desperate need to protect myself. Everything makes me anxious. Even the thought of exerise as The Tango Man was adamant about no gym but no the chemo is over and it's radiation time. Actually very excited about going back to gym. Going to be quite emotional but happy emotional. The first time I drove passed the gym, after I had been banned from going, I felt quite tearful. Even now, can barely bring myself to look at the building cos was so happy going there. Now going to be happy going there again. Gonna be kinda awkward though: gymming in a hat, like the frummes (religious Jews).
But now too damn tired to elucidate all that, and all cos i worked quite latish to make up for coming in late cos of radiation. Plus saw the doctor and no, nothing wrong with my chest - was breathing shallowly cos i am panicking is the only possibility. Did cough quite frantically just now again.
Good news is that can go back to gym. Let's rephrase that: must go back to gym but cannot get too sweaty or out of breath. So going to get biokineticist at the gym (my former brilliant biokineticist Dalena is off to live in Namibia). Booked an assessment for Tuesday. Said I want a brilliant highly-experienced bio. Scared if do it on my own will under-perform rather than over-perform, cos have this desperate need to protect myself. Everything makes me anxious. Even the thought of exerise as The Tango Man was adamant about no gym but no the chemo is over and it's radiation time. Actually very excited about going back to gym. Going to be quite emotional but happy emotional. The first time I drove passed the gym, after I had been banned from going, I felt quite tearful. Even now, can barely bring myself to look at the building cos was so happy going there. Now going to be happy going there again. Gonna be kinda awkward though: gymming in a hat, like the frummes (religious Jews).
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