I am writing this on my cellphone while sitting beside my dad's bed. He is dying. The doctor has given him 4-5 days. We are keeping him at home and he is getting a morphine patch and a day and night nurse. He is 90 and has lived a good life. He has no terminal disease, just his system is shutting down and he appears to have had a stroke/heart attack a few days ago. The Dr says he is slipping in and out of consciousness and even if he went to hospital, they could just prolong a very diminished existence for a month or two. We have chosen to go the home route. He loves his flat here in Sea Point in Cape Town. But it is one thing to write all this down calmly and another to hear his wracking coughs - has water on lungs. "I wish him peace," said the yoga man. So do I.
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I live in Johannesburg, South Africa, where I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday January 15 2009. This is my journey with cancer and other musings as surveyed - initially temporarily hairless - from under my hats.
So sorry to hear your news. I found this blog when I googled re my father dying as we got told today that our father (64) has cancer and not expected to live more than 2 weeks. Its heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteSending you love from Scotland x
My heart goes out to go. What a shock it must have been and how young he is too. My thoughts are with you and your family at this trying time.
DeleteGillian,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you have to go through this. It is so true that it is easy to write a quick little synopsis, but sitting with him as he is suffering must be so hard. I hope he finds peace and that his passing is painless.
Thank you, Joanna. Luckily he is not really suffering as he is dying of old age. In fact, he is still breathing and the doctor has said that he has a strong heart and a strong will, but his breathing is so shallow that we hope it will not be too prolonged now. It has been agonising to watch. I cannot believe it. Although he is very old - 90 and a half - I chatted to him on Tuesday, on Wednesday there was the first sign of something being wrong as he slept all day and by Thursday he was dying and my sister and I flew down to Cape Town. But as my one sister says: it is not a tragedy. Just very sad.
DeleteGillian,
ReplyDeleteHearing is the last to go. Keep talking to him; tell him how you feel. I know this is incredibly difficult. I wish you peace as well.
Brenda
Thank you. Also thought about what my friend said - that we should play music - but there is no music in his flat, apart from a piano which he used to play, and also, he is practically stone deaf. But we have been talking to him.... and he did flinch when the balcony door banged today.
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