Sunday, January 29, 2012

Two and half years since radiation

Was trying to find out when I finished radiotherapy or radiation as everyone tends to call it, when I discovered this blog didn't have a search function. So have now added it.
I now know my last radiation was on June 22 2009, which makes it two and a half years ago.
Why I wanted to know is that about three months ago, I noticed these broken veins below my collarbone on the left side, where I had radiation. They have increased a little since I first noticed them but aren't a big deal. When I pointed this out to The Tango Man at my last visit, which was three months ago so this must have been about three and a half to four months ago that I first noticed them, he said that about 10 years or so ago this was how all radiation patients reacted, and all over the radiated area. He said patients would be amazed when he could tell them during which period they had had radiation.
That part of my chest, well really the neck area above it, is still a little itchy at times and I still use the cream the radiation oncologist recommended at the time, after I had used a cortisone-enriched cream (the pharmacist made it according to her precription).
And then of course I have borderline lymphedema from the radiation which really flares up badly if I travel long distance and which is often a hassle but is mostly ok. But it does mean I do manual lymph drainage massage twice a day, about 40-50 minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes at night. So guess radiation has impacted on my life in a big way but it is all manageable provided I don't have to wear the compression sleeve which I don't like at all, not least cos it means I can't just wear the clothes I wish to.
This is a pic taken today of my broken capillaries - is that the best way to describe them? Not sure...
Then this pic is of my general chest area on the left. It looks far worse in the pic than in real life. It looks so pink and with so many marks. The radiation oncologist did tell me that those marks were latent sun damage that the radiotherapy brought to the fore. I hardly ever go into the sun so that just brought it out as it was unblemished before. But really it's not a big deal. Just wanted to document it, not moan or alarm people, and really this pic seems to have done the opposite. Oh dear! Maybe click onto it to enlarge it; then it doesn't look so bad!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

"I don't have an option"

I am planning a change in my life. Nothing to do with my health, nothing I can write about at this stage. But I am making it my focus: reading an expert book on the topic, going to see a life coach to help me achieve my goal (a bit dubious re whether or not I will actually go through with the appointment as I am not sure I believe in life coaches, preferring psychotherapy for solving problems) and so on.
A friend congratulated me today on making the effort (she has a motivation problem, period...) and I heard myself say: "I don't have an option".
I remember saying that before, I said smiling.
When I was having treatment for cancer, many people said to be how brave I was, how whatever I was, how ... I used to get a little annoyed as I wasn't being brave, wasn't having a good attitude or blah-blah-blah. "I don't have an option," I'd say. And mean it. "I am just doing what I have to do."
Same with this.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Cheryl Radford of Indigo Dreaming has died






Just read in alli-lifeintransition's  
blog that Cheryl Radford of Indigo Dreaming 
blog had died. Breast cancer. Cheryl has always been very sweet and very kind and very concerned and we often communicated via our respective blogs.
She lived in New South Wales, Australia.

At this moment there is nothing about her death on her blog but Alli of lifeintransition
wrote yesterday:
Today a very special friend  Cheryl Radford  lost her fight to Secondary Breast Cancer.  Cheryl suffered a great deal towards the end of her life. Haydn her husband called me this afternoon. He was very specific in his words. He said "Please feel Happy for our Cheryl, she is finally at Peace, she has no more pain and hopefully she is now another Angel"! He went on to say she never lost her spirit, everyday no matter how difficult she never complained! He was amazed at her courage...Most of all her dignity She died peacefully.
I will truly miss her. Cheryl was an outstanding woman.
Damn this bloody Cancer. It steals, takes lives  like a thief in the night. Creates havoc and chaos in families. Leaves children motherless.
Rest in Peace Dear Cheryl You left us far too soon! 
Love Always Alli........XXX