Glanced at a post I wrote last Thursday......"Woke up today and just knew: I felt like myself again, like I felt before starting treatment on February 4, World Cancer Day"....sjoe, not even a week later and things have changed.
Don't feel like the old me any more, even if my taste in food is pretty much back to normal. (As I dribbled my homemade diet salad dressing over my homemade salad the other day, my colleague said: "Ah, Gillian is back!" Cos once again, I was eating what she recognised.)
Anyway, now not feeling at all like my old self, except for the fact that went to gym after work today, the first time since starting treatment. Ok, been going to bio but that is with a biokineticist, at a set time, mostly first thing in the morning. Tonight was like what I used to do. I just did less, and battled more with doing it, but enjoyed it immensely.
Been rather hassled lately although unsure how much of it is caused by the hormone tablet I am now taking daily, calling tamoxifen, trading under some other name. Think it is causing intermittent headaches - something i never usually have - plus intermittent depression. Well, think it made me feel miserable, out of the blue, last night.
But the biggest news of the day is re the herceptin. The medical aid have declined authorisation of it - BECAUSE I HAVE NOT HAD SURGERY. Ok, I must be one of the few women with breast cancer who have not had surgery but hell, did not have a tumour in my breast (only in axillary lymph nodes), no lump to be removed via a lumpectomy, and eventually (when the chemo led to a complete response, ie the cancer disappeared 100%) even the surgeon said "no surgery; have radiation".
The oncology centre said they, and i think she meant the centre but maybe it was the medical aid, had never encountered this before. "Well, I will have to sell my home (if I have to pay the just under half a million rand the herceptin will cost for 17 treatments). "Ridiculous!" said the woman from the centre.
Now The Tango Man is appealing the medical aid's decision, I have an appointment booked for Monday and I don't have to feel guilty that this morning I had decided I was too stressed to start my herceptin treatment this week and should postpone it to next week.