"Not even cancer could stop u"

Was on gchat now, with a former colleague who has moved to Port Elizabeth. I told her I was at home tonight. She responded: "lol that is bizarre! not even cancer could stop u". A short while ago I also wrote a comment on Joanna's blog, lifehasitsupsanddowns in which I reminisced about battling to stand up for long periods at art exhibition openings, or walked slowly from my car to restaurants (realise the difference only now that I can bounce along quickly) - but at least I was there!
So Karen, thank you for saying that "not even cancer could stop u". Well, why should it? Only in the week (week two post chemo) when my immune system was compromised did I not go to public places other than work, as advised by the doctors.
Yes, cancer didn't stop me much - nor should it stop anyone else.

PS: So grateful my arm is ok. Feels awful but saw The Lymph Lady today, and it's fine. And lost 1kg already.

great website

"I believe that none of us should be limited by our disease, our treatment, or our survival."
This is a line from Julie Goodale's revamped website Life-Cise
Read it, watch her brief introductory video, read some of her links under "cancer and fitness" at the bottom - the one on lymphedema is great, for example - and sign up for her newsletter. I did.
By the way, Julie lives in New York, is a musician (viola player who studied at Julliard), is a specialist cancer exercise guru with all the relevant qualifications, and writes one of the best blogs - fitnessforsurvivors.
Read more about Julie Goodale.

coping with adversity

I am beginning to think that copying is a choice. It sounds crazy even to me but I think you have to grit your teeth and decide: that's it, I am going to deal with this and then it becomes easy. If you don't cope, it's more difficult.
I look at my dad who lost his partner after 54 years and he mourned for a month, and then got on with life. I still cannot believe my mom is dead and sure my dad cannot either but he is totally cheerful and takes delight in everything. He got sick last week and we were told it was serious. By Saturday afternoon I felt hysterical, thinking I felt like hiding under a duvet and never coming out. Then I decided that my dad would hate that, so spoke to my sisters saying we had to grab life and enjoy it. So we all went out that night and this evening spoke to my dad and he sounded brilliant.
I wouldn't say I am not coping with having had cancer but have to admit that the niggly side effects of the treatments often get me down, but not for long. I want to feel 100% again and will do whatever it takes. This morning got on the scale and was 2,5kg more. Damn - either eating or boozing too much or it's the tamoxifen pills but I am going to beat it. Giving it a week, then going to Cape Town again next week and if my weight is not down when i return, going to see the dietician again, whether I can afford her damn expensive consultations or not.
Sadly therapy has been a bit of a disappointment to me. I knew the day I was diagnosed that I would start this blog and go to therapy but think it helped the least of everything I have done. Biokinetics and having contact with The Lymph Lady who is so clued up with the treatments and their side-effects have helped far more. Excercise has been a big, big help. Like going to a biokineticist the minute I got diagnosed and banned from gym to get a programme of low-energy exercises which I did consistently, if not everyday, during chemo.... combined with a bit of recuperative yoga poses. Now I do bio - high-energy bio which includes 15 minutes of cardio - three times a week and yoga once a week.
Not sure why the therapy was such a disappointment cos went to the same therapist i had been to before and who had been very helpful in giving me pointers to deal with work problems in the past. Now I still have work hassles but hopefully just deal with them a bit better!!
Everyone tells me I am a coper, that my attitude is good but i often find that annoying. I have no choice but to deal with it. However, this weekend in Cape Town with my dad in intensive care made me realiser that coping can be a choice. That you take action and things become easier.

reader from brazil

Wow! Someone from Brazil has been reading this blog. And have more readers in the US than the UK. And think most of my own friends, apart from a handful, don't read it. Interesting that. Wish my main topic was more cheerful.
Had a dip this afternoon. Left work early - at 4pm - and The Main Man saw me and I didn't even care cos was feeling yuch. The truth was that I had looked in the mirror earlier and I had looked like a ghost - so pale and wan. Then came home and ate and felt momentarily better than went to sleep, feeling shit. And can u believe it? My state-of-the-art thermometer is in another bag and not here with me. And all because I bought a beautiful new black leather bag - super large - and did not transfer all my goodies into it.
Also, this afternoon there was an announcement - well, at least that is when I saw it; this morning it was a different story - that special votes for the disabled, those who gonna be out the country etc - well, registration would be allowed until 5pm today (it had previously been said it had closed on March 27). Well silly ol' me, who is usually so organised, did not arrange a special vote and now I am hassled that I will not be able to vote in the general elections on Wednesday.
Oh the point I was making that my ID book is not in my new bag and cannot register for special vote - would have been allowed to vote straight away. And as I saw it only at a few minutes to 4pm, and registration closed at 5pm, there was no time to go collect it and make it for voting. Plus I did not feel well enough for the mad dash.
Cliche, cliche, yes, but really dislike being sick. But ok now I think. At least I woke up before my alarm went off - although had increased the sleeping time twice - and now gonna see if I get up outta bed and do the few things I had planned to do tonight.
Damn this chemo and the immune-compromised week it brings. On the other hand, welcome the chemo because at least there is something that can make me better.

the start of....

It is Sunday morning and the start of my immune-compromised week. Cannot deny that I am rather terrified as to what might happen to me. It covers days 7 to 14 from the day of chemo treatment and last time I got throat thrush and could not eat solids for just over a day and then only soft foods for a few days. The time before my blood counts went low and I felt dreadful and had to leave work and then go for blood test at night at hospital and then go on antibiotics and....
Essentially am not allowed to public places in this time... except for work and can go grocery shopping - just quickly.

But must say - thoroughly enjoyed the time of my weekend I could go out!

really touched by this blog

cancerlost.blogspot.com/2006/11/about-meaghan.html is meaghan's story of her fight against cervical cancer. she has just passed her bar exam and this despite having to have surgery every three months...