coping again

Feeling much better and even tempted to delete my previous posting but hell, it is the way i was feeling.
Like this suggestion I found while googling "how to cope with the death of a parent":

"Perform random acts of kindness. This will help to remind one there is tenderness and thoughtfulness in the world. Pay the bridge toll for the person behind you. Smile at the store clerk. Some choose to perform random acts of kindness in memory of the person lost." - from /dying.about.com/od/copingresources/ht/morecoping.htm

And no longer feeling nauseaus. It is strange but eating does help nausea. Ok, add to that a nausea pill - you have to eat 30 minutes after this pill I took and rye bread with mustard and tomato sauce topped with soya sausage was great and no longer feel ill.

Now feel compassion re Jade Goody's death (watching her mom talk about it on sky news).

uncertain feelings about being bald

Saw this pic of former UK Big Brother star Jade Goody, who got married today although she has only weeks to live as her cervical cancer has spread. She is bald in the pic - see URL below - and at first I felt revulsed when I saw it, so guess have a long way to go towards dealing with my own baldness caused by chemo for breast cancer.

On the other hand, gonna log off now and forget about it. And will think about other things I am busy with, like the butternut I have baked and whether I should have it for supper or keep it for work and go out, and whether I feel ok or my stomach is still cramping, and whether I should play my word games on facebook or read....

PS: Oh going out! Decision was made for me. Love going out so it will be fine.


JADE GOODY BALD:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/feb/22/jade-goody-wedding

jade goody and being brave

A pic of Jade Goody, bald - the 27-year-old former British Big Brother star who has now been given just months to live after her cervical cancer was found to have spread to the bowel, liver and groin - was flashed across Sky News tonight.

Then found this online posting by a journalist from the Observer UK who asks in connection with Goody:
"I'd like to ask how people feel about the media using the words "brave" and "battling" in connection with cancer sufferers."
http://www.whatnow.org.uk/cancer-forums/jade-goody-and-talking-about-cancer-observer-newspaper

Interesting idea. What do you think? Please leave a comment.

One reader, KateG, wrote of Goody's high profile fight against cancer: "Battling" and being "Brave" - What choice is there? One undergoes whatever treatment is offered in order to stay alive or at least prolong one's life. I suppose one could say a "Brave" patient is one who undergoes lots of horrible treatment without complaint. (And we all have our 'off' days when we fall apart and are not the least bit brave!)."

I see the point.

People have told me I am being brave. Some because I have been so open about having cancer. But what choice do I have? From when I lose my hair it will all become so public. A lot of my telling people has been selfish, to make it easier for me. Am dreading people looking at me in shock and horror as I walk around so obviously as someone having chemo.

By the way, Jade Goody looked fab in the pic on TV - bald and defiant.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7869090.stm