Feeling ok - just a bit fat

What a blah headline I have given this post. (OK, now added "just a little fat"). Don't feel blah, feel fine. Having got over the endometrial cancer scare (see previous posts) I am feeling fine, just trying to deal with the over-eating which started with the scare. Been a long time since I overate for emotional reasons.
Hoping things will calm down and have contacted the dietician although can hardly afford another appointment (R1000 for an hour.....will try for a 45 min one).
Have always had a weight problem but never been obese. Got everything sorted when I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem - more than 10 years ago - and although it was overactive (Graves' disease), I was told afterwards that I was one of 10% of people who gained weight. I remember one week I gained 4kg. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. So out of control. Went shopping that Saturday and was shaking a lot. From the thyroid making everything in my body work too fast. Bought about 4 -5 pants suits, mostly in fabrics with lycra and short jackets. I never wore them. I kept thinking I would lose the weight. I didn't. In fact, today am about 16-18kg heavier than when I got diagnosed with thyroid. But today am 2kg heavier than normal, and intend to lose 8kg. Which will make me 8kg heavier than when I got diagnosed which would be fine for me.
I am pretty obsessive about it. I weigh myself every day. Watch what I eat but, thanks to the tamoxifen, the minute I eat lots of protein, I gain.
Today's weight is 1kg more than when I was diagnosed with cancer almost 4 years ago - and the only reason I remember what I weighed is that The Tango Man, when I asked whether I would eat more or just get fatter from tamoxifen (the latter, he said),  yelled at me: "You weren't thin when you walked in here; you weighed X"!
Anyway...not the end of the world..... off to a party just now... it's not lunch but well, it's from 2pm so dunno what it will be. Not a cake fan - other than Christmas cake - so just have to make sure drink enough water today else will nibble things.
I am so grateful my D&C results were ok. Got myself into a real tizz re that.
PS: I know my picture is fuzzy. My hairdresser took it when I had my hair cut last week. Need The Yoga Man to take another but he is out at the moment. Have never put my face on this blog..... maybe I should.... 

seeing the thyroid doctor tomorrow

Cannot believe that I haven't written for about a week. But been super busy, going out a lot. In fact, it's after 10pm now on a Sunday night and still have to do the lymph massage, pack my clothes for tomorrow and have an early start with bio.
Stopped hassling about the 1cm difference in my arm. In fact, have been feeling ok.
But now getting a teeny bit anxious about tomorrow. Seeing the thyroid doctor at 1pm. About 10 years ago was very sick with an overactive thyroid, Graves Disease, which later changed to being underactive. I was extremely sick for five and a half months, which in many ways was worse than cancer in that I never, for one second, felt ok during that period. I was dizzy, felt shaky, hot, and my weight was totally out of control. In one of those weeks, I gained 4kg without eating more and suddenly all my clothes were too tight. Then I would eat salads and gain weight, eat a lot and lose weight and so on. Then I managed to see the doctor I am seeing tomorrow (not so easy as he no longer sees thryoid patients, in fact heard he is now not seeing any new patients as he is focusing on his diabetes research) and within a month was about 92% better. Then it took a couple more months before my thyroid was stable and I could go on diet and try to lose the weight.
I never went back to the weight I was before my thyroid went out of control.
Anyway, after a few years without needing any medication, my thyroid became underactive. Then my cholesterol went crazy and now that is why I am a little anxious about my appointment tomorrow. Am tired of having health hassles and want my cholesterol and thyroid to be ok. Pretty sure my thyroid is ok. Just hope my cholesterol is also ok. Am on two different kinds of medication for it but it took about a year for the correct dosage to be worked out. Eventually - last time I saw the doctor - he admitted that the cholesterol was probably caused by the thyroid (that is what it says on site after site on the internet).