Sunday, November 11, 2012

Feeling ok - just a bit fat

What a blah headline I have given this post. (OK, now added "just a little fat"). Don't feel blah, feel fine. Having got over the endometrial cancer scare (see previous posts) I am feeling fine, just trying to deal with the over-eating which started with the scare. Been a long time since I overate for emotional reasons.
Hoping things will calm down and have contacted the dietician although can hardly afford another appointment (R1000 for an hour.....will try for a 45 min one).
Have always had a weight problem but never been obese. Got everything sorted when I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem - more than 10 years ago - and although it was overactive (Graves' disease), I was told afterwards that I was one of 10% of people who gained weight. I remember one week I gained 4kg. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. So out of control. Went shopping that Saturday and was shaking a lot. From the thyroid making everything in my body work too fast. Bought about 4 -5 pants suits, mostly in fabrics with lycra and short jackets. I never wore them. I kept thinking I would lose the weight. I didn't. In fact, today am about 16-18kg heavier than when I got diagnosed with thyroid. But today am 2kg heavier than normal, and intend to lose 8kg. Which will make me 8kg heavier than when I got diagnosed which would be fine for me.
I am pretty obsessive about it. I weigh myself every day. Watch what I eat but, thanks to the tamoxifen, the minute I eat lots of protein, I gain.
Today's weight is 1kg more than when I was diagnosed with cancer almost 4 years ago - and the only reason I remember what I weighed is that The Tango Man, when I asked whether I would eat more or just get fatter from tamoxifen (the latter, he said),  yelled at me: "You weren't thin when you walked in here; you weighed X"!
Anyway...not the end of the world..... off to a party just now... it's not lunch but well, it's from 2pm so dunno what it will be. Not a cake fan - other than Christmas cake - so just have to make sure drink enough water today else will nibble things.
I am so grateful my D&C results were ok. Got myself into a real tizz re that.
PS: I know my picture is fuzzy. My hairdresser took it when I had my hair cut last week. Need The Yoga Man to take another but he is out at the moment. Have never put my face on this blog..... maybe I should.... 

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