Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Over the shellshock

Haven't written for a few days 'cos am just digesting everything. Thanks to those who have commented; appreciate your messages of support immensely.
I am over the worst. The anger has dissipated although far from the "so glad it wasn't cancer" brigade. The constipation has been overcome although not 100% resolved and still on Movicol but just once a day. Got the test results from last week and do have an infection - mix of bladder and others - and so am on antibiotics. Am a little sore - think Monday's 45 min walk up steep inclines for some of it was maybe a bit much - but am taking it easy. However, am so used to exercising that now did about 20 minutes walking rather than the 10 I set out to do but it is horrifying how out of breath I get on a short walk.
Anyway, have asked work to set up their system at home so can start doing some work. They are checking out whether they can (despite early assurances that they should be able to). The problem is that my laptop doesn't operate on Windows but on Linux and the work system is Windows.
Do feel pretty bad that the big boss is doing my work as well as hers. Not sure how she is managing but feel ready to start doing some. Not committing myself to a full day's work; just a little. Maybe half of it for now.
The big boss is a mensch. Contacted me last night to find out how I was (I had CC-ed her an email earlier in the day requesting the work system). She was very supportive and very nice. Impressed. (She is new and this was surely the last thing she needed - to have someone in a key position out the office for so long.)

Anyway, life is going on. And very chuffed that someone I recommended for a job, clinched it! I knew from day one when he arrived as an intern a few years ago that he was going to make it big and told him: "If you ever need a referee, come to me". And it did. As The Yoga Man says: "In a few years' time he will be back - in management!" Wouldn't be at all surprised.

I suppose I need to feel I have value. That I can contribute. Can "make a difference" as my sister always says.

The recent events have thrown me somewhat. That my judgment was so wrong. That I thought I had thought it through, but hadn't.

Anyway I look forward to the day when I am well enough to go back to gym, yoga and - believe it or not - the office! Never thought I would say that.

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