My beck has been sore since about Sunday. Cannot remember when it started but by Monday night the muscles were so raised that I phoned the physio to make an appointment. Today my neck was fine and I cancelled tomorrow's appointment.
Not sure if that is related to this but anyway, neck was in spasm on Monday so asked The Yoga Man to massage it. "What's this?" he said, as he rubbed the left side of my neck. "What do you mean 'what's this'?" I responded. What is that? Is it a lump?
It was decided that I would ask The Lymph Lady when I saw her later that day. She said it was either a lymph node or vascular, nothing to worry about and we'd keep a check on it.
But it got worse, more pronounced, as the day went on.
So today, after a meeting at work, I got into my car and drove to the oncology centre. I have given up on phoning them. Not that they don't answer the phone, they do, but they tend to dismiss things. If I am there in person, they are forced to confront me.
I am here for three things, I said to Joyce: to get the blood tests I must have before my next appointment, for you to make a muga scan appointment for, and cos I got a lump on my neck.
She examined my neck, then went to call the doctor. He said there were lots of lymph nodes in my neck. We need to keep a check on this, he said, or something to that effect. I want you to go for a scan, he said.
Oh my God, I said, or something to that effect. Really? Well, you came here cos you felt something was wrong.... anyway, they phoned for an appointment and off I left.
Sitting there for the scan was the one of the few times since I was diagnosed that I felt total despair. I felt that if the cancer has come back, only months after finishing herceptin, it is too soon, too soon, and I would be doomed.
Anyway, the radiographer and radiologist did the scan (first one, then the other). Fine, fine, fine, said the radiographer but "it's so unusual to have all these enlarged lymph nodes" she kept saying, as she found one after the other and on both sides of my neck.
Anyway, happy to report that there is no malignancy. Everything fine according to the report, which I read a few times, although one node is 7.5mm and another on the right 12mm which seems pretty pronounced.
The doctor was not there when I went to take the results so not sure what happens next. The one person who did the scan, cannot remember which one now, said that my doctor, The Tango Man, might want a rescan at some point.
I felt pretty anxious. Almost burst into tears afterwards but ok now. Although it's a stress I find hard to handle.
But why all these enlarged lymph nodes? They're reactive, not malignant, said the radiologist. But why?
The Lymph Lady has now advised no further manual lymph drainage massage for now. "If there is an infection we need to wait," she said in her sms.
The Tango Man had said earlier that her treatment with me might have moved the lymph to my neck but dunno if that's possible.
For now, am totally relieved that there is no malignancy.