Sjoe. Got a call from the oncology centre. Why are you coming tomorrow, they asked? 'Cos I have an appointment, 'cos it's my three-monthly check-up and 'cos I had blood tests last week and you, I said to the nurse, surely cannot give me the results.
Why don't you speak to the oncologist and let me know then, I say, you can even tell me tomorrow.
No, I have to take responsibility. That is what he expects. Then he tells me - hope she wasn't lying - that he had just walked past and nodded in agreement. She said my bloods were fine and although my appointment last month was unscheduled - I had had a scare when I found this strange bit of hardness below my left boob which turned out to be nothing, even under an ultrasound scan - it counted as an appointment and now I did not need to come now.
Also, my bloods were fine, she said. Come in February. So we set up and appointment and I am going in, probably tomorrow, to get info re all the tests I need to have before the next appointment: more bloods, a muga and a mammogram.
So I feel blessed but also a little anxious. But then I did have a scan last time, which was last month. And she said she had kept my call for last thing of the day because she knew I would protest. I have to admit I tried to phone back about five minutes later to check that the date we had chosen was ok - did that give me enough time to have a mammogram and a muga? And even now as I sit here writing, I am thinking: isn't February too late, shouldn't I be seeing him in January to make it three-monthly?
Oy ya yoi. Nervous wreck, I am.But so thrilled, am taking a friend out for supper tonight.
And another bit of good news is that saw The Lymph Lady today and my arm was perfect. If only it could settle down, then I could see her less frequently as it really is costing a fortune. But for peace of mind I do need to see her weekly. Costs a lot - get a lot back from medical aid but still need the money to pay upfront each time - but I don't enjoy the anxiety plus it isn't good for me.
I am gonna be fine, gonna be fine, gonna be fine, I am sure.