It is now getting to the point where I can no longer "gaan aan" (literal Afrikaans for "go on", as in go on and on and on...." about my arm and its high risk for lymphedema and how I spend so much time and effort to avoid actually getting it and having to wear a compression sleeve.
Now, apart from an occasional - as in once a day, ok, maybe twice a day, maybe more.... - passing comment such as "my arm feels dreadful, look, it is definately swollen", I try not to talk about it. So it helps to have a blog. Cos here I can pour my heart out.
Actually I don't, pour my heart out that is. I often keep quiet about things. It is what holds me back from being a good writer; I hate exposing myself, exuberant as I am.
For example, during the recent time when I did have to wear a compression sleeve, I was far far far far more miserable about it than I wrote. I don't even remember what I did write about how I felt, but I do know that I did not write what I really felt, and even now I am not prepared to discuss it, what I really felt during that time, that is.
I just hope that somebody somewhere finds this useful. Or can identify with my experiences and feelings. It is certainly helping me by providing me with an outlet as well as helping me clarify what I feel and trying to understand what is happening. It also serves to document. Cannot clarify why I feel it is important to document; I just believe it is important to keep a record of things and often, in hindsight, I have regretted not recording things. Consider Kevin Bloom's book Ways of Staying. If he had not documented things, he could not have written that book.