a bit of this and a bit of that

Written about three draft postings. One on my unusual food cravings since I started chemo about three and a half weeks ago, another on my hatred of hats and one on... dunno.

Now tired and going to skim through something to read.

Meanwhile, I think I want a brandy but one sip and it's yuck, my mouth still tastes funny after eating a piece of cheese, a foodstuff I used to adore.

And gonna have to plan my entire outfit tomorrow around which hat is best to wear for that occasion and which one doesn't hurt cos my scalp is so sensitive since my hair started falling out from the AC chemo. Think I want to return most of the hats I bought (the unworn ones with the tags on) cos you can see I am balding - well balding but the sides are bald). Yet the yoga guru says u can see in all the hats that I am bald/balding... well, except the white broderie anglaise one I wore today but wear can i get more in that shape that are also suitable to wear at night? Oh damn it.

And to think I was scouring around that exclusive little butchery in Dunkeld West today, craving red meat, something I usually eat only once a month and then only spare ribs. Yesterday ate biltong too, the second time I have done so since starting chemo just over three weeks ago. Maybe I lack iron. On the refined foods and pasta carboloading diet I am presently indulging in, guess it's not that surprising. Gone are the constant fish meals, the salads, the variety of foods. Now I like hot cross buns (went to two shops today but they were sold out), and anything carb. And no alcohol. Bizarre.

pics of my declining hair - going, going, almost gone

MESSY HAIR LOSS (taken either on day 3 or 4 of hair loss which started exactly two weeks after my first chemo treatment)





BALDING SIDE PATCH EXPOSED WHEN PURPOSEFULLY PUSH HAIR ASIDE (taken on Friday February 20, day three of hair loss)



BALDING SIDE PATCH EXPOSED WHEN PURPOSEFULLY PUSH HAIR ASIDE (taken on Friday February 20, day three of hair loss)



AND NOW STUBBLE WITH BALD PATCHES (taken on Friday February 27, six days since I shaved my head and 10 days since it first started falling out)

If I were black.....

AWARD-WINNING DANCER DADA MASILO CHOOSES TO SHAVE HER HAIR AND LOOKS FAB

Looked at the packed auditorium at the Dance Umbrella at the Wits Theatre last night and at least one third of the people were wearing hats or caps. I work in an environment where many of my colleagues wear anything from peaked caps to trilbys to work.
So why do I get constant double takes because I have taken to wearing headgear to cover my increasing bald head from the chemo?
"Because you are white," said a friend. "If you were black, you could be bald and nobody would say a word."
Yes, it is true. Maybe this is heightened cos we live in racially aware South Africa, but wearing headgear is very much part of black urban culture, especially among young people. For whiteys, not at all.
Last night I walked past dancer Dada Masilo who is beautiful and bald without blinking an eyelid. And I doubt any of the hatted (is there such a word?) audience members last night were white.
Oh well. Just hope the word spreads fast that I have cancer and I don't have to continue to face those awkward double-takes as I go about my life, today in a pink velvety peaked cap with a large butterfly clipped onto one side of it.




Dada Masilo - scroll down for info plus a beautiful pic by Suzy Bernstein
http://www.sagoodnews.co.za/arts_entertainment/young_artists_awards_for_2008.html

Dance Umbrella - http://www.at.artslink.co.za/~arts