Just came back from The Lymph Lady and, as she is in the medical field and incidentally also had a hysterectomy, it was so nice to speak to her. She said I am very angry and emotionally not ok - well, she put it differently, something how it is affected me emotionally. She said when she had a hysterectomy, although she got an infection which delayed healing, by 5-6 weeks she was fine. As in exactly how she had been before. She reckons my anger has delayed my healing. This has been worrying me.
The psychologist I phoned on Saturday has not yet phoned me back. Maybe she does all that sort of admin stuff in the evening.
I need to get better but I cannot be happy about this operation. It is so radical. I keep wondering now: why, when my D&C result last year came back as perfect, did he not question that something else might have been causing the irregular cells?
You see, I am going around in circles. And that doesn't lead to progress.
PS: My arm was fine. She says that is because I am not moving around.
The psychologist I phoned on Saturday has not yet phoned me back. Maybe she does all that sort of admin stuff in the evening.
I need to get better but I cannot be happy about this operation. It is so radical. I keep wondering now: why, when my D&C result last year came back as perfect, did he not question that something else might have been causing the irregular cells?
You see, I am going around in circles. And that doesn't lead to progress.
PS: My arm was fine. She says that is because I am not moving around.
yes, i can see how angry you are. it is impossible for a stranger like me to know whether the hysterectomy was necessary or needed or better than not having it. I do know one thing -- your anger is eating you up and my heart feels it. I hope you are able to do what I have done in a different but somewhat similar situation. I put it "in a box" and put the box on a shelf. I only take it down when I need to and it stays on the shelf more and more.
ReplyDeletemaybe the way to deal with this is to imagine that this is the best and let that feeling sit wit you for 30 seconds. Then 60 seconds. really imagine that cancer or the possibility of it is now gone and that the benefits of the surgery outweigh the bad parts. See how that fits and then try and increase. sorry so much.
I hope you get some relief as you deserve it.
Thanks but I am still battling to find any benefit in this op. The doctor said: "Now your mind can be at ease about tamoxifen". As I said to my one sister yesterday: "Have I ever worried about getting endometrial cancer from tamoxifen? Never. Yes, I didn't like the 6-monthly test but I went religiously and never delayed it. Then forgot about it till the next one.What I have worried about is getting lymphedema.... oh yes, that I have gone insane about..."
DeleteI am now seeing a psychologist so maybe that will help. Well I am convinced it will help. Thanks for your considerate and helpful words.