Thursday, December 13, 2012

had the most awful thought today

My hip has been sore. My biotkineticist said it was a muscle in spasm. But agreed today that it did seem to have persisted for a bit long. First felt it after gym last Monday, so talking about 10 days now.
The Yoga Man laughed that it was degenerative, or thought it was sciatica (pinched nerve) but today I suddenly thought: what if it is cancer in the bone?
Now been trying to work out if it is muscle pain or bone pain. The bio said muscle pain is an ache, bone pain is persistant.
I am not sure where exactly this pain is but until I nagged her today, the bio said it was definately muscular.
Anyway, before I thought it might be cancer, I had already made an appointment with a physiotherapist. Tomorrow at 1pm. Am going to keep the appointment. Praying it is just muscular.
Funnily enough, the pain is much better now that I have made the appointment. Feels a little bruised but I am not holding my side as I walk. Went on the bike today at gym and that seems to have helped a lot. Will do my full cardio session on the bike tomorrow.
Luckily the pain in my finger and hand has also improved. Still there but far less intense.
I have, however, turned into a compulsive eater. Guess I cannot talk about this to people...I have erratic anxieties, compounded by having found my own cancer in the unlikely circumstance of a recent mammogram and scan, and nobody wants to hear me "gaan aan and aan' (Afrikaans for 'go on and on').
Today my eating was insane. Well ate one thing, a lot of it, a vast amount of it, but actually most of that was 'cos of frustration at work. Intense having to shut up..... rather than explode.
This is a bad thing. Also, my dietician said the only way I will lose weight now is to be consistent. I eat super healthily but am having the occasional really bad out-of-control binge. This is a new thing. Have done it in the past but not for years and years.
Oh well.
I think my hip will be fine. Now it just feels like a bruise and I think it probably is bruised - lol! - because I have spent so much time on my side doing a particular exercise to loosen the muscle.


  1. Hi Gillian,
    You have been experiencing what I have dealt with for the last several months. At ten days out, I was getting worse. I had a lumbar MRI and a pelvic x-ray and luckily, it is not cancer. If you have sciatic nerve pain, it takes a long time to fix. I know what you mean about the bruised feeling. It started to feel like I had just had a shot in the side of my hip. Anyway, I am on the mend and wanted to let you know that you are probably in the clear, especially if it feels better after biking. Apparently, the pain from cancer does not go away with exercise.

  2. It's really easy to go there in your head! I'm good about not panicing about every little thing, but when pain persists, it's hard not to. Hope all goes well today!