Saturday, November 20, 2010

what you call it

I know I tend to talk about "when I was diagnosed" rather than "when I got cancer" but I was still surprised when a friend wrote me a message on facebook talking of her "malignancy". She had said she was having a lump removed and her lymph nodes biopsied. Post-operative, she spoke of the lymph nodes being "clean" and said this meant "the malignancy was contained and easy to treat. Happiness all round."
Malignancy, I thought. So she did have cancer.
I was telling The Yoga Man about how she was just so cool about it and wasn't it just amazing;  he was less impressed. "Hmmmph!" he muttered. "You also say you breezed through your treatment. Breezed through? Hmmmph!"
It's true. I do say I breezed through it because that is how it feels now in retrospective. I had four chemo treatments and yes, I lost my hair, and yes, I did feel k*k, especially after the first one, and yes, I did get progressively worse in my immune-compromised week post-treatment but four is hardly a lot, in fact it's the minumum you can have for breast cancer,  and then when I had radiation I was ok, always waiting to get tired like they told me I would, and only getting exhausted between the second last and last session. And yes, I know have the threat of lymphedema and that is a big issue and yes, I did feel sick from the herceptin treatments but I survived it and it feels ok now. I am grateful to be finished the treatments and just hope it all worked and keeps the cancer away forever.
And yes, I do get hot flushes from the tamoxifen and yes, I did gain weight from the tamoxifen but am losing it again, and yes, my nails are shitty and so weak and thin it is scary, but yes, it does feel that I breezed through it.

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