serves me right

After writing that arrogant and somewhat flippant post on Monday about coping with adversity, and how much of it is a decision to cope, I had a sleepless night, tossing and turning and worrying about things.
So there. Ok, not all illness-related, in fact, mostly not, but nonetheless was not a picture of coping well.
Also having huge hassles with hot flushes from the tamoxifen pills. Especially at night and wish I knew a way to control it. Did ask The Tango Man but if I remember correctly, there isn't much one can do. The pills lower estrogen, if I remember correctly, and that causes the hot sweats. Terrible as feel as if I want to sleep with a fan on all night.
Have also had more pain in my radiated area. Mentioned it at oncology centre but they told me just to monitor it. Well, not just more pain but also when I do the manual lymph massage it feels different over my left boob. More bumpy as it were. The head nurse said she thought it was just scar tissue from the radiation (she didn't examine me). I tried to get an extra appointment with The Lymph Lady but she is away next week and I cancelled my appointment today cos had major meeting at work - which was cancelled. Never cancelling an appointment with her again. Oh well.