Tuesday, October 20, 2009

a bit miff

Not feeling elated today but, for once, it has nothing to do with cancer or illness or side effects or anything like that - which is probably a really good sign,and so I am smiling again. Am sick of illness.
Kinda pissed off with work, with my career, with lack of opportunities, with my lack of entrepreneurship, with the fact that from those at the meeting today, I was the only one not invited to tonight's big work function. OK, there have been years in the past that I was not invited but if I am good enough to present the 'diary' for a major section of work, why am I not good enough to be invited? I guess when they drew up the invite list I was not in my present position, so that is probably why I was left out.
And financially feel left out too. Mentioned by car expenses to someone today, that I spent over R10 000 on it last month, adding "and my car is only four years old", and they exclaimed, "but you should never keep a car that long!" - as if I could afford to buy a new car (plus my car is an el-cheapo).
So now that I have given up therapy (my medical aid for therapy ran out and I was becoming resentful of it cos I did not feel it was helping me), I feel today that maybe I need to go back - with the proviso that I do not discuss cancer, sickness, side-effects and other moans.
Oh dear.
Meanwhile, sipping an ultra-dry shiraz sparkling wine which I think needs berries in it (the frozen ones, which u just drop into the glass) to make it more palatable.

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