I want the booby prize for trying every damn trick in the book, for taking action on any little thing that happens in this fight against cancer and becoming well again. (Incidentally, I am beginning to realise - and it's a depressing thought - that this fight will never be over, just a continual variation on a theme as one more side-effect rears its head and so on.... gosh, I sure am ringing out the cliches, maybe cos the reality is too much to bear.)
Anwyay, to get back to my point: after two weeks in which my weight has crept up one and a half kilos without my eating more, and feeling increasingly chubbier as a result, I went to a dietician today. She was recommended by The Lymph Lady as someone who has dealt with tamoxifen weight gain, which is what is happening to me.
Anyway, first appointment R700. And the second? Even more - okay, by R50, but that is more than I have ever paid for a dietician.
Let's just hope it works.
What with my thyroid history and now my cancer experience, and all the related mouth and throat problems and eating hassles that has thrown up, my case history took up the entire one hour session.
"I have to see you tomorrow!" I said. Well, Friday is my birthday and I refuse to have any appointments, Monday is a public holiday and on Tuesday, after my appointment at The Lymph Lady, flying out to Cape Town.
And I cannot afford to keep gaining weight in the interim.
Ok, after tomorrow there will be a three week break, but she is still the most expensive dietician I have ever been to.
In the meantime, feeling much better than I did yesterday after the herceptin, although twice felt I had a headache.
Found yesterday's reaction to it really scary; a throwback to what it felt like "to not be okay", to when I had been on chemo and still carried on doing things but it felt like being on remote control.