overdoing it

Had a crazy day in many ways. Woke up early and did 20 minutes of exercise. Well, maybe 'exercise' is a bit strong to explain what I did but as my one sister said, "It's all relative" and I was so chuffed at what felt like a major achievement. First time in about five weeks that I did anything vaguely linked to exercise and even if did not do the full tally as required by my brilliant biokineticist Dalena, did what I could and felt fabulous. Now must make an effort to get a Pilates ball but as the rest of the day determined, all shopping has to be rationed energy-wise.
Started off collecting a skirt from the repairman. Had torn the hem in CT. It wasn't ready even though he had agreed to fix it by today. In retrospect I should have taken it back as I threatened to but let's see: it better be ready by Monday morning.
Then popped into the shop near the repairman with the intention of looking at a funky bag i saw in the window (am hunting for a new bag which doesn't cost the R2600-something of the one I like). Ended up buying a damn Ed Hardy top. Say "damn" cos it is so expensive and now still in two minds whether I should have got the black or the bright pink. It's a short velvet tracksuity top and really funky which is why I wanted it but think should have gone the whole hog and bought the icecream pink rather than the more sedate black. Dunno.
Then went to Hyde Park to get the magic eyebrow pencil make-up artist Leon had told me about. Got seduced into buying this magic encourage eyebrow growth treatment too, when really my eyebrows are only thinning slightly and the intention of the pencil is only precautionary: if it does start thinning dramatically, I will have the remedy at hand without the trauma of having to go to Hyde Park Shopping during my upcoming immune-compromised week.
Needless to say, that was not cheap - R800 for the two - and now contemplating whether or not I should return the treatment. Well, have a week to decide as from tomorrow, it's the compromised time. So no shopping centres.
Then went to my sister but she was out, then to the pharmacy where I spent an absolute fortune on necessities - how unfortunate - and then went to Melrose Arch, but turned around as time as running out. Forgot that I had also popped into the fish shop to buy tinned sprats - anyone know where one can buy them in Joburg as they said they don't think they can source them any more? - and then spotted fresh tuna, which I just had to have, but didn't have a cooler bag on me and it was becoming increasing hot and so paid for the fish which the shop agreed to keep for me till they closed at 3pm.
Did not feel like rushing through Melrose Arch in an hour so just turned around, collected the fish, popped into Fournos next door for the second time that day (had bought hot cross buns and delicious I-think-it's-carawayrye bread earlier) to buy lunchy stuff and then came back and collapsed.
Well, not literally but must have slept for about gour hours. And that's quite tragic. Was depleted from that shop. Oh forgot, also went to the water shop where bought three cases of water.
But now in an awkward situation cos did not manage to get a birthday present for someone I intended to from WW and should not really go to a place like that next week. Maybe I can do it super super quickly. Oh dear.

Ja, things aren't what they used to be. Not in terms of my energy levels since started chemo.

Oh quite enjoyed the dinner I went to last night, to welcome Mumbai-based Iyengar yoga expert Jawahar to South Africa and think that's what inspired the exercise session this morning.

Was so chuffed when someone asked why I was not doing yoga and I said, "I have cancer" and she was shocked, doing a double take and saying she thought my hat (my Leon-inspired animal print trilby from Young Designers Emporium) was a fashion statement. She remarked how energised I seemed and I was chuffed and I think my reaction is pathetic. So desperate to appear ok when it is quite clear from today that I am far from ok and can barely do all the shopping and activities I plan to do.

But must stress: am not depressed. Am ok. And on my way out for supper now. Been eating far too much but will sort that out another time, like tomorrow or maybe Monday.