surprised at my own reaction

Phoned the oncology centre today. Hope it's not just a coincidence, but ever since I did the Geeta Iyengar open day - where we did have to stand for aaaaages with our hands up at shoulder level -  I have had pain in the area where I had cancer. Well, kinda in the general area cos my left arm has also been a little sore lately...but the pain has been worrying me. For two days after the yoga which was on the 7th, it was bloody sore. Now it has toned down, but it is still there and does not seem linked to movement alone.
Now The Tango Man told me that radiation can affect the skin for up to eight years and I am hoping that the yoga just stretched some tissue. And I still have mobility - eg, did yoga tonight and it felt a little sore, but not in a bad way.
Anyway, phoned the oncology centre today. Am due to see The Tango Man on June 14, so thought maybe I could bring it forward or if necessary see The Skinny One, the other oncologist, in the interim. So I phoned and asked to speak to J.
J is a great nurse there: super experienced, honest, fun and trustworthy. "She doesn't work here anymore," I was told. Whaaaat? Apparently she was ill, needed a stomach op, and they haven't been able to get hold of her since; been a few weeks now. The scary thing is that they seem to have written her off: "she doesn't work here any more," was the first thing I was told. And I do know that she has previously been unhappy there.
Besides worrying about her, and if she is ok - I almost feel like going to see her at her home to see if she is ok but I don't know her surname although I could find it out) or her address beyond a general area - I also, and this is the scary/worrying part, I feel lost without access to her.
You see, at this oncology centre you cannot contact the oncologist unless it's an emergency. Fair enough. But there have always been good nurses to speak to who could guide one. There was Erica, the head nurse, with about 10+ years' experience, but she resigned. J resigned on the same day but was talked out of it. Now she too has left.
And I feel sad at the departure of these maternal figures in my life. Those with knowledge. Those who can advise even if what they say is harsh.

 

the herceptin mystery unveiled

Finally had herceptin today. When I walked into the reception area, the nurses laughed, about how I have had an appointment almost every day. "You had one yesterday!" said one. "We stopped pencilling it in," said another. All said with smiles on their faces.
Being in that chemo room, this time not having chemo, made me realise how friendly everyone is and how cheerful so many of those chemo patients are. Quite remarkable.
And the staff are exceptional.
I also realised that I need never feel bad about how many times I have phoned them, asking them this and that. It is as much part of their job as administering treatments; they answer queries from patients all day.
So what was herceptin like?
Well, I had forgotten how awful it is to have drip inserted in your hand. And how much it hurts as the liquid goes in. Today it also battled to get into me, and about three times they had to adjust it to ensure it was still dripping. By the end of what was 2 1/2 hours, a double dose to kickstart, I was cold, just like I had been with chemo, and they covered me with a fleece blanket. Orange.
Erica the head nurse told me I might feel shivering - literally, so that my teeth clatter - about eight hours later and that if so, must just get into bed, cover myself with lots of blankets, take panados and go to sleep. And would then feel tired tomorrow.
But she said it might not happen. It's now just over 12 hours since I finished the treatment and that has not happened but must admit, felt pretty awful this afternoon.
And was surprised. Did not expect that. It reminded me of the chemo feeling. Not just a headachy feeling, a yuch feeling. Funny taste in mouth and all that. Ok, ok, not as bad as chemo but after I came home and slept for a while (on a couch in the sun, but indoors), and felt well enough to go to the shops (had to buy nail polish remover and get more hormone pills),rememebered how yuck I used to feel.
So much for the 'flu-like symptoms' i have read about. But do feel ok now (well lying down in front of the heater and not doing much), so guess it's ok. Curious to know how others have felt on herceptin.
Oh, seeing a dietician tomorrow re weight gain on the hormone pill tamoxifen.