I had the hysterectomy on Monday morning. Have not had the written report yet but my gynae had had a conversation with the pathologist who told him there was no malignancy; just a fibroid.
I feel a bit shellshocked. I was so sure I was doing the right thing. My gynae had told me: "You are playing with fire". He really thought I how cancer or pre-cancerous cells. My history of breast cancer and being on tamoxifen had pointed him and everyone else in that direction. Now he has told me: "The fibroid was causing negative cells".
On Thursday the gynae told me: "Five doctors approved of this procedure".
I exploded.
"Five doctors? Who?"
I then pointed out that the GP had agreed with him but that I would never speak to him again cos he told he I had endometrial cancer and got it all wrong. And that was approving of the op; that was agreed with the gynae when he informed him.
My oncologist spoke to me before I saw the initial pathologist report. Once I found out the report suggested a D & C only, not a hysterectomy, the oncologist did not return any of the three messages I had left him. I think he felt he had spoken to me. And I didn't have cancer; why did he need to speak to me?
The pathologist who did the initial report had told me it was drastic, he just needed more tissue but recommended I do it.
He too suspected cancer.
I believe the gynae thought he was doing the best thing.
Oh and the 2nd opinion doctor, the head of what-what at Wits University, just threw the textbook at me, suggesting two things (all indicating cancer) that had they been an issue when I was diagnosed four years ago, the oncologist would have dealt with them.
So really it was the gynae.
Now I have had it. And I wonder why.
The Yoga Man, my dear friend, says "six weeks isn't so long, you'll be fine" but I feel like someone who had a vague threat of breast cancer in the family and had a double masectomy (I know many in America do that; I don't).
I feel the drastic surgery I had was unnecessary. The night before the procedure, on Sunday night, at 10pm, I had second thoughts. Let me change it to a D &C , I thought. Let them tell me it is cancerous or pre-cancerous.... and then.
This is radical.
Anyway. I tried to post my blog from my phone but need to check that facility; it didn't work from hospital.
Will be home for about a month. Lots of time to write, I guess.
I feel a bit shellshocked. I was so sure I was doing the right thing. My gynae had told me: "You are playing with fire". He really thought I how cancer or pre-cancerous cells. My history of breast cancer and being on tamoxifen had pointed him and everyone else in that direction. Now he has told me: "The fibroid was causing negative cells".
On Thursday the gynae told me: "Five doctors approved of this procedure".
I exploded.
"Five doctors? Who?"
I then pointed out that the GP had agreed with him but that I would never speak to him again cos he told he I had endometrial cancer and got it all wrong. And that was approving of the op; that was agreed with the gynae when he informed him.
My oncologist spoke to me before I saw the initial pathologist report. Once I found out the report suggested a D & C only, not a hysterectomy, the oncologist did not return any of the three messages I had left him. I think he felt he had spoken to me. And I didn't have cancer; why did he need to speak to me?
The pathologist who did the initial report had told me it was drastic, he just needed more tissue but recommended I do it.
He too suspected cancer.
I believe the gynae thought he was doing the best thing.
Oh and the 2nd opinion doctor, the head of what-what at Wits University, just threw the textbook at me, suggesting two things (all indicating cancer) that had they been an issue when I was diagnosed four years ago, the oncologist would have dealt with them.
So really it was the gynae.
Now I have had it. And I wonder why.
The Yoga Man, my dear friend, says "six weeks isn't so long, you'll be fine" but I feel like someone who had a vague threat of breast cancer in the family and had a double masectomy (I know many in America do that; I don't).
I feel the drastic surgery I had was unnecessary. The night before the procedure, on Sunday night, at 10pm, I had second thoughts. Let me change it to a D &C , I thought. Let them tell me it is cancerous or pre-cancerous.... and then.
This is radical.
Anyway. I tried to post my blog from my phone but need to check that facility; it didn't work from hospital.
Will be home for about a month. Lots of time to write, I guess.
Your operation makes no sense. I hope you recover quickly and that you can deal with the emotional backdrop to having an unnecessary operation. Hopefully, the anger dissipates over time and you heal good as new.
ReplyDeleteDear Gillian, It's terrible that you are recovering from surgery as well as feeling so bad about the decision and your care. I am wishing you well and hope your body and mind are quickly restored to balance and peace. Love, Diane
ReplyDelete