Sunday, December 27, 2009

a year since i found the lump

I forgot about it but christmas eve was a year since i found the lump below my armpit which turned out to be cancerous.
I think the hardest part to deal with has been the fact that it is not over. Although the chemo took away the cancer, things have not stopped there. I thought it was just a matter of "grit your teeth and bare it, then things will be over" but it hasn't been like that at all. Oh I got through the chemo mostly allright, then had radiation but then got swelling from the radiation and now on herceptin and tamoxifen - all preventative stuff - and all with side-effects so kinda ... well, people keep telling me how well i look but it means nothing. I looked and felt fine when I was diagnosed.... so how do i know I am ok now?

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