Wednesday, December 9, 2009

got a problem

Feeling really bad on the herceptin. It is day three since I had it and still feeling bad. If I stay still, it's better. If I move around, it's not. And then if I do stay still, don't feel 100%.
Phoned the oncology centre twice today. Wanted to know if it was ok if I pushed myself, that is, was going out tonight (theatre and a play) and was that ok or was it harmful? "Oh, you can be among people; it's not going to affect your immune system," I was told. Ja, I know that but is it wrong to push through this yucky feeling? "Giddy" said the nurse so they are clearly aware of this symptom. Cos I call it "dizzy".
If this persists, it's going to be a real problem. Going to affect all aspects of my life. And in two week's time, got to do my work and my boss's for a week. Going to be really difficult if I feel like this. Then what about exercise? That's what I phoned them about the second time. And a day after my next herceptin treatment, have booked to go to Cape Town. Cannot change the flight. Have to be there, for the unveiling of my mom's tombstone.
I feel like crying. This is like stepping back four months. Feel like shit. And on Monday was running around saying I feel wonderful, wonderful! Then I had the herceptin and now this. But at least I feel better than I felt on Tuesday. Feel like crawling under the duvet but need to do lymph massage first.
Oh, one thing is great. Found two women on the discussion board of the american cancer society who also had no primary tumour with breast cancer. One had a masectomy two weeks and the pathologists found no evidence of disease, what the website - or guess the Americans - call "NED".

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