Wednesday, September 9, 2009

the scare

Found a lump last Tuesday, the day after I came back from Lesotho. Had been in a lot of pain on my left side, the side where I had had cancer and had been radiated. So much so that I had phoned and left a message for the radiation oncologist who sent one back saying I must ask the nurses about it next time I have herceptin and show them where my arm is pink (that is what the lymph lady said it was). Anyway, the pain varied from under my arm in my armpit to outside the arm.
In retrospect I think it was because I moved from dabbing my arm with creams to rubbing it. It was too early, methinks, cos since I have resorted to dabbing again, and rubbing only my arms, the pain has gone.
Be that as it may, the trouble was when the pain spread to the other side. Well, suddenly I was in agony on the other side, the non-cancer side, and so much so that I ended up taking my bra off in the evenings as it felt it was digging into me. This went on for about four days. I looked but could not see anything which suggested damaged skin or anything. So when I came back from Lesotho on the Monday, the next morning I was thinking: where is/was it sore? And, feeling around, I felt a lump to the upper right side of my breast.
I decided to do nothing until I saw The Lymph Lady the next day as she knows more about bodies than I do. She felt it, said: "there is something there" and suggested I phone the oncologist straight away. Phoned, spoke to the head nurse and asked if I should go for a scan.
No, said the nurse, let me speak to the oncologist.
When she returned my call, he could see me only in two days time. When I walked in two days later - after tears, sleepless nights and sheer devastation at the thought of surgery (was told would need surgery if the cancer came back) plus the intense chemo and radiation I would have so that I could barely walk, and what would happen if I then had swelling on both side? - the nurse saw me and said: "Oh, I forgot to tell him you were coming now."
He saw me about 5 minutes later, between patients, in the room where you get weighed and blood pressure taken before chemo. "I think it's a cyst," he said. And told me to go for an ultrasound scan whenever, not immediately.
I went yesterday. Oh, they tried to cancel it cos doctor had an emergency but I was so persistant and assertive (could barely believe it myself) that when they told him it was me needing a scan, he phoned me and told me to come immediately. I left the office in one second and raced down the road as if I had my hazards on (even thought of putting them on but then just drove with the attitude that they were on, except that I stopped at robots.)
Anyway, nothing there. Twice or maybe three time he asked me feel, to show him where it was. Think it was much smaller but nothing showed up on the ultrasound. Think it's gone. Think I am going to be fine. Now just want to live a life unblemished by all this cancer stuff, cancer talk, cancer anxieties. Now I know I am going to be ok, am healing and all will be well.


  1. I am so happy to hear that they were not able to find anything!

    Since October is Breast Cancer awareness month, I am looking to raise awareness and money for this great cause. I have found numerous etsy shops that are willing to donate prizes as giveaways during the month to get more people to come to my blog and donate.

    I will be putting links in my sidebar that will allow visitors to donate to Susan G Komen and hopefully to Keep a Breast.

    I am looking to have some guest bloggers leave posts about their own interaction with this disease. Whether it's about surviving, losing a loved one, hair loss, testing, being related to someone with bc, informational, poems, etc. Anything breast cancer related. It can even be a copy of a post that you have already posted on your blog.

    If you can be of help or know someone that can, please pass this email on to them.

    My mom is a breast cancer survivor which is why I have gotten involved with this charity.

    Please let me know if you can be a guest blogger on my blog in October asap so that I can get a schedule going.

    Thank you so much!


  2. yes reckon i could post something but not sure how it would help