Friday, May 8, 2009

don't understand myself

My sister phoned and asked if I wanted to go to a talk on breast cancer one Sunday morning in June from 9.30am to 12. It's a fundraiser and someone she knows/knows of who has had breast cancer will talk. I said "yes" but the truth is I don't want to go. Will go because I feel I should, rather than want to. In truth, the thought of getting up early on a Sunday to do that... maybe if the talk was along the lines of the book I am reading, about how to boost your own immune system and so heal yourself, but just about breast cancer.... dunno. I kinda feel removed from breast cancer. Yes I know I have it but I don't have anything which is obviously in the boob and as I have kept saying to people who said: "Are you going to have a lumpectomy (everyone's favourite word relating to breast cancer as it alleviates the need for a dreaded masectomy)?" - "NO! You cannot have a lumpectomy if you don't have a lump." The truth is not all lumps in the breast are suitable for lumpectomy anyway.

Oh well. Of course I will go to the talk but kinda wonder why I felt so averse to it. Feel better about it now that I have written about it.

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