no mammogram and scan after all

After making myself hysterical with fear - although woke up this morning and said: "Whatever happens I will deal with it" (does one have a choice, really?) - I did not have to have a mammogram or scan after all.
When The Tango Man had asked me when my last mammogram was, I said "October", forgetting that when I found the lump below my armpit on Christmas Eve last year, I then had a mammogram plus a scan in January (there were no doctors in town to do one before).
So when I went there today, was called in to my appointment and then told that it was too early. It either had to be a year since my last one and now was three months too early, or six months since I finished radiotherapy. Now no clue when I finished that but do know, cos I checked via this blog yesterday, that I finished chemo on April 14, that is, six months ago so it's a far shorter time since I had radiation.
The woman who was gonna do the mammogram said she had had breast cancer 23 years ago and had had a masetcomy. By the same surgeon I had seen but who had decided not to operate on me.
"Didn't you have surgery?' she must have asked me about three times. And I explained that I did not have a primary tumour.

feeling like myself again

Woke up today and just knew: I felt like myself again, like I felt before starting treatment on February 4, World Cancer Day.
It is difficult to know what it is that made me feel like myself again, but a kind of internal energy, an inner bounciness. And it makes sense. Was told the radiation would be active inside me for two weeks once I stopped treatment. Today was two and a half weeks since I finished radiation so it's likely that it's out or mostly out of my body. Hence this is the first time I feel like I used to feel.
Ok, not like I don't have side-effects. Come on, that would be too much to expect, wouldn't it?
Anyway, my arm is still swollen cos of the lymph nodes being radiated. Wacked. Doing my 25 minutes of lymph massage twice a day and seeing The Lymph Lady (well not again this week but three times next week and that is not my idea but hers; I'd see her twice a day if I could) and short of praying to make my lymph nodes kickstart back into action - and going to find out more about visualisation so I can try that too - dunno what else to do.
Then my mouth is dry but did not pursue trying to get hold of the medication cos things were overcome by the lymph drama.
Otherwise, okey dokey.
And now thinking about what a friend suggested last night: why don't I use this blog as a basis for a book and register for a masters in creative writing at Wits (University of the Witwatersrand)? Mmmmmm.. swore I wasn't going to write a book about this but know that this blog is a good diary from which to start.
Oh, had a brilliant moment in the lift today when someone I did a course with at work commented on my super short hair. Oh, u cut it, she said. Not really, it's a long story I said, then told her. She was flabbergasted as she said I looked so well, my cheeks were glowing - told her i was off to gym/biokinetics nogal (Afrikaans for 'as well/on top of it') - and she just could not believe i had finished radiation two weeks ago. She said I looked so well and it made me feel so good. You eat so healthily, she said (think we ate lunch during the course. Oh and must add: I am getting my taste back so on the way to healthy eating again. Drank wine again tonight.
Oh gosh. Nearly left out the most important thing. I feel free of treatment goetes (Afrikaans for stuff/things), but start herceptin on monday and due to start hormone pills on Friday (had to wait for medical aid to kick in). So just as my side effects are dwindling (except for the swollen arm), so I am due to start the next treatments with all their damn side-effects. Thinking of holding off the hormone pills till Monday. A weekend of ignorant mostly side-effect-free bliss.