I live in Johannesburg, South Africa, where I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday January 15 2009. This is my journey with cancer and other musings as surveyed - initially temporarily hairless - from under my hats.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
pale
Just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Look pale. Maybe it's the disappearing eyebrows which are present but thinned out. Maybe it's cos I have been indoors since yseterday evening cos of the flu. Maybe it's just what I look like.
thrown apart by flu
It's quite a challenge having cancer. I'm in the chemo phase - although will find out by end of next week if need more, maybe not - and there are all those niggly side-effects that can overwhelm your life if you're not careful.
There is the hair loss which includes rapidly disappearing eyebrows;precarious, in my case, threatening-to-split-in-half nails; stomach hassles; and, cannot think. Even worse is the constant threat of getting sick. Your immune system is compromised and this week I got flu. It really threw me; was more miserable than from just about anything and who knows, it might have been unrelated to the cancer.
But I am so sick of not feeling ok. Sick of not being able to go out, sick of missing things (today it was the Deborah Bell www.deborahbell.org/ walkabout at David Krut) and most of all, and this is the most downheartening (is there such a word?), the constant obsession with oneself and how one is feeling. In one sense, this blog just reinforces this.
But otherwise, am ok. Reading a fab book - Ndumiso Ngcobo's Is it Coz I'm Black? twodogs.book.co.za/blog/2008/10/13/is-it-coz-im-black-ndumiso-ngcobos-sequel-to-some-of-my-best-friends-are-white which is in the same vein as his first book, Some of my best friends are white. Both are hearty laugh-out-loud collections of essays/observations/satirical looks at life in the 'new South Africa'. Highly recommend them.
So life isn't so bad at all.
More on Deborah Bell:
www.davidkrutpublishing.com/2830/deborah-bell-recent-prints
www.whoswhosa.co.za/Pages/profilefull.aspx?IndID=8739
More on Ndumiso Ngcobo:
www.thoughtleader.co.za/silwane
There is the hair loss which includes rapidly disappearing eyebrows;precarious, in my case, threatening-to-split-in-half nails; stomach hassles; and, cannot think. Even worse is the constant threat of getting sick. Your immune system is compromised and this week I got flu. It really threw me; was more miserable than from just about anything and who knows, it might have been unrelated to the cancer.
But I am so sick of not feeling ok. Sick of not being able to go out, sick of missing things (today it was the Deborah Bell www.deborahbell.org/ walkabout at David Krut) and most of all, and this is the most downheartening (is there such a word?), the constant obsession with oneself and how one is feeling. In one sense, this blog just reinforces this.
But otherwise, am ok. Reading a fab book - Ndumiso Ngcobo's Is it Coz I'm Black? twodogs.book.co.za/blog/2008/10/13/is-it-coz-im-black-ndumiso-ngcobos-sequel-to-some-of-my-best-friends-are-white which is in the same vein as his first book, Some of my best friends are white. Both are hearty laugh-out-loud collections of essays/observations/satirical looks at life in the 'new South Africa'. Highly recommend them.
So life isn't so bad at all.
More on Deborah Bell:
www.davidkrutpublishing.com/2830/deborah-bell-recent-prints
www.whoswhosa.co.za/Pages/profilefull.aspx?IndID=8739
More on Ndumiso Ngcobo:
www.thoughtleader.co.za/silwane
Friday, May 1, 2009
a quick post
At work on this wonderful workers' day. Got a bad cold and sore throat but otherwise well. Don't feel ill as in temperature.
Been super busy seeing shows and now super busy - sometimes - at work.
PS: Just checked my temperature and it's fine. 35.9. Wonder if that is too low. Oy. Another worry....Just gonna take it again. Now it is 36.2 and seems ok. Gonna stop taking it every two seconds. And chill. As in relax!
Been super busy seeing shows and now super busy - sometimes - at work.
PS: Just checked my temperature and it's fine. 35.9. Wonder if that is too low. Oy. Another worry....Just gonna take it again. Now it is 36.2 and seems ok. Gonna stop taking it every two seconds. And chill. As in relax!
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