A two-tone day

Bounced up today. Had not slept too well but after my yoga poses and some exercises - feet up against the wall for 15 minutes; lying with body elevated on foams and knees bent with feet together, also raised, for 5 minutes; leg stretches with theraband and another stretch with bent knees for about a total of another 5 minutes - was more than ready to face the day.
"This is the new me!" I declared. Going to be exuberant and fun and not going to spend the night on the Internet but going to chat. No more heaviness. Enter lightness.
And it lasted for the morning.
Then went to therapy. Then dashed off home to fetch something. And by the time I came back to the office was feeling tired. By 4.30pm felt it was pointless sitting there. Was working but the nature of what I could do was limited. Felt the tiredness wash over me. So came home and lay down and kinda dozed.
Now got one hour to be online, then gonna chat and relax.
However, that does mean that starting to write my in interview with Ndumiso Ngcobo is not going to happen. Not tonight.
But not depressed. Maybe just a little groggy now. And that is probably because I extended the 45 minutes nap period - go any longer and you move into another sleep cycle and wake up groggy.
Starting tomorrow with the dentist - need to fit the crown which I was not able to do while on chemo. Then going to go to work and take it all in my stride - not get stressed and, even more importantly, not going to pop in anywhere during the day. Like "popping in" and had planned to pop into the tailor to collect my skirts being altered, the listeners' library to get a new CD book to listen to in my car and possibly Stax to buy a hand blender on my way back from the dentist but it's that type of popping in that tires me out. Trouble is cannot do all that on Saturday either, not if going to the Clive Chipkin talk on his new book Johannesburg in Transition read review and some info on it at Boekehuis and then write up my interview... ok, deep breath... somehow it will all get done.

thrown apart by flu

It's quite a challenge having cancer. I'm in the chemo phase - although will find out by end of next week if need more, maybe not - and there are all those niggly side-effects that can overwhelm your life if you're not careful.
There is the hair loss which includes rapidly disappearing eyebrows;precarious, in my case, threatening-to-split-in-half nails; stomach hassles; and, cannot think. Even worse is the constant threat of getting sick. Your immune system is compromised and this week I got flu. It really threw me; was more miserable than from just about anything and who knows, it might have been unrelated to the cancer.
But I am so sick of not feeling ok. Sick of not being able to go out, sick of missing things (today it was the Deborah Bell www.deborahbell.org/ walkabout at David Krut) and most of all, and this is the most downheartening (is there such a word?), the constant obsession with oneself and how one is feeling. In one sense, this blog just reinforces this.
But otherwise, am ok. Reading a fab book - Ndumiso Ngcobo's Is it Coz I'm Black? twodogs.book.co.za/blog/2008/10/13/is-it-coz-im-black-ndumiso-ngcobos-sequel-to-some-of-my-best-friends-are-white which is in the same vein as his first book, Some of my best friends are white. Both are hearty laugh-out-loud collections of essays/observations/satirical looks at life in the 'new South Africa'. Highly recommend them.
So life isn't so bad at all.

More on Deborah Bell:
www.davidkrutpublishing.com/2830/deborah-bell-recent-prints
www.whoswhosa.co.za/Pages/profilefull.aspx?IndID=8739

More on Ndumiso Ngcobo:
www.thoughtleader.co.za/silwane