So self-absorbed...

Almost forgot about this blog, I have been so self-absorbed in my little pains and traumas post-hysterectomy. Well, not all the pains have been minor.
By late afernoon my stomach has usually blown up like a balloon and I have extensive bowel problems.
Tonight, however, I feel nauseous. Felt nauseous a little last night too I remember. Not sure why.
A lot has happened since I last wrote. Went on wonderful three-day holiday to Umhlanga, near Durban, which was indulgent and relaxing and I do believe the sea-air really speeded up my healing. Either way, I made a marked improvement in my recuperation during the last five days of my six weeks off work.
And so I am back at work.
And I have also seen the therapist three times and have decided to keep going.
He says I am angry because I feel helpless and because I am actually sad. So when I am angry I must think why am I sad.
I just know that if I didn't feel so awful for at least part of every day, I wouldn't be so angry.
I am toying with phoning the doctor re my bowel and bloating problems: are they usual post-hysterectomy and if so, what can I do to ease them?
The therapist said he had a stomach op a few years back and this kind of problem is par for the course. Else I am dying of colon cancer...(says me)....

A few things...post-hyterectomy

* The gynae and I are now talking, thank god, 'cos after very bad constipation post hysterectomy (a problem which might not yet have been solved in fact), am now onto my second post-hysterectomy problem: a potential bladder infection.
He sent me for a urine test today and phoned a series of people to take me and luckily solved the problem and got there and back pretty quickly, with one friend taking and another fetching. I spent R450 on taxis the other day, and that was just two one-way trips, and this depot was just down the road. We have tuk-tuks in Joburg now but they are too bumpy and not the best for post-abdominal surgery I don't think.

*Am in intense pain. Just taken some more pain killers. Oh that was another good thing re gynae talking to me. I needed more painkillers. Have hardly been taking them. But now bugger that and taking them 2 to 3 times a day.

* The worse I feel, the crosser I become re this. Re having had the op. I am ok and can deal with it when ok but when have pain like this, just see red... to use a blady cliche.

* I do not think I am ready to do any work from home. Work was prepared to set up the work system at my home - I asked  - but really, not well enough to deal with people, think coherently, do whatever. I still have to inform them. The Yoga Man told me not to worry about this till next week.

* I know I just did online shopping and tweeted re it so work will probably think am ok to work but I cannot. I need to sort myself out.

Hope I don't have a bladder infection. Feel like chopping my head off. Oh, by the way, The Yoga Man says I was much sicker when I had chemo so my previous post is inaccurate.

And the reason the doctor hasn't sent me the bill - so I can send it to the medical aid (I asked for it to be made accurate and the "maligant..." to be removed) - (I have already paid it)  - and the reason he hasn't sent me the report is that it is at his home.

Feel like having a few drinks but don't think they will go well with the painkillers.

Feel like screaming. A little.